Jab’s Builds! (Snake! Johnny Carson! Stan Lee! Mr. Burns!) - Page 2383 (2024)

Thorpocalypse wrote: ↑Sat Jun 01, 2024 2:13 pmAs much as I hate to critique your build of Ned, Jab, I think you missed something. He should have the Attractive advantage, limited to when in ski suits.

Stupid sexy Flanders.

Blast! I'm a failure!

Lionel Hutz: Now, Mrs. Simpson, tell the court in your own words what happened after you and your husband were ejected out of the restaurant.
Marge: Well, we pretty much went straight home.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, remember that you are under oath!
Marge: ...We drove around until three in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: We... *choke* went FISHING! *weeps*
Lionel Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who had ALL that he could EAT?
[the jury is made up of fat, obese people]
Jury: No, no.
Man in Jury: No, that could've been me!

LIONEL HUTZ (aka Miguel Sanchez, Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc)
First Appearance: "Bart Gets Hit By A Car" (1991)
Played By: Phil Hartman
Role: Incompetent Lawyer
PL 0 (6)
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Deception 4 (+4)
Expertise (Law) 2 (+1)
Expertise (Real Estate) 1 (+0)
Expertise (Singing & Dancing) 5 (+5)
Expertise (Shoe Repair) 4 (+3)

Advantages:
Benefit (Stonecutters/No Homers Club), Daze (Deception)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +0

Complications:
Motivation (Wealth)- Hutz is incredibly poor, and willing to do anything for money.
Addiction (Alcohol)- Hutz once abandoned a courtroom to go talk to his A.A. sponsor (David Crosby) after merely handling a bottle of bourbon.
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: -4 / Skills: 16--8 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 0 (6)

-An ambulance-chasing, incompetent lawyer, Lionel Hutz is a shyster who only gets hired because he's the cheapest guy available. He's so bad that he once tried to plead "Not Guilty" using a card ("And 'Guilty' is SPELLED WRONG!"). His only victories are against The Frying Dutchman when they kicked Homer out of their All-You-Can-Eat Buffet, proving that an old tramp created The Itchy & Scratchy Show, and suing Krusty for Bart's appendicitis when he ate a jagged metal Krusty-O. The rest of the time he fails miserably. So he's yet another character whose specialty is in fact something he sucks at. Since Hartman's death, Ol' Gil is now the Simpson family's personal lawyer-of-choice.

THE SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN (Jeremy Freedman, aka Mr. Peterson)
First Appearance: "Brush With Greatness" (1991)
Played By: Dan Castellaneta
Role: Service Industry Drone
PL 0 (-1), PL 1 (-1) Defenses
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Expertise (Service Industry) 2 (+2)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +1, Will +0

Complications:
Responsibility (Whichever Job He Has This Week)
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: -4 / Skills: 2--1 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (-1)

-A play on the omnipresent example of the teenaged service industry drone, The Squeaky-Voiced Teen (often appearing with different names and hair, as they're basically interchangeable) is most-often seen in the background, making some kind of generic, underconfident statement while his voice cracks. The only other clerks seen in the show tend to be Rafael, aka "The Sarcastic-Voiced Man", who responds with some kind of snide remark.

MARGE SIMPSON (Marjorie Jacqueline Simpson, nee Bouvier)
First Appearance: "The Tracey Ullman Show" (1987)
Played By: Julie Kavner
Role: The Mom, The Sensible One, Bored Housewife
PL 3 (59)
STRENGTH 1/2 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 3 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+4)
Deception 3 (+5)
Expertise (Housewife- Cooking & Cleaning) 6 (+8)
Expertise (Police Officer) 3 (+5)
Expertise (Anti-Violence Activist) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Pretzels) 3 (+5)
Expertise (Real Estate) 3 (+5)
Expertise (Painter) 3 (+5)
Expertise (Power Plant Employee) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Erotic Baker) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Writer) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Teacher) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Gym Owner) 3 (+5)
Expertise (Waitress) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Worker at La Maison Derriere) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Weathergirl) 3 (+5)
Insight 1 (+4)
Perception 2 (+5)
Vehicles 2 (+2)

Advantages:
Benefit (Ambidexterity)

Powers:
"Mom Powers" Enhanced Strength 1 (Flaws: Uncontrolled) [1]
"Beehive" Features 1: May Keep Objects in Hair [1]

Offense:
Unarmed +3 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Mom Strength +3 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +3 (DC 13), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +5

Complications:
Relationship (Homer- Husband)- Marge truly loves Homer, in part because he needs her so desperately. But the man is also horribly lazy, annoying, rude and out-of-shape, often leaving Marge wondering what she ever saw of him in the first place. She usually ends up having to act as disciplinarian to HIM as well as her own children. Despite this, she is MUCH more jealous than Homer is regarding the opposite sex.
Relationship (Bart- Son)- Marge is probably the only person in town with a positive impression of her "Special Little Guy"- despite his nature as a hellraiser. She often has difficulty defending him to others, and is the only person who can bring him out of his more destructive episodes.
Relationship (Lisa & Maggie- Daughters)- Marge dotes on her other two children as well, and is one of the few adults that Lisa respects.
Relationship (Patty & Selma- Sisters)- Marge is the only one in town who likes her sisters, though they always disrespect her husband.
Reputation (Wet Blanket)- Marge is well-known to be pretty risk-averse and moralistic, making her a bit dull to be around.
Secret (Dyes Her Hair)- Marge has been "grey as a mule" since she was seventeen, and uses Blue Dye #56 to turn it back to its natural blue colour.
Motivation (Being Taken Seriously)- Marge often wants to belong, going out of her way to try and impress others (even if they're snooty rich women). Her nature as a simple housewife often leaves her unfulfilled.
Addiction (Gambling)- Homer and her family were desperate to save Marge from the Neon Claws of GAMBLOR.
Phobia (Flying)- When Marge discovered that her father was a male flight attendant, she built up a fear of flying (added to by various other traumatic incidences).
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: 28 / Skills: 50--25 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 2 / Defenses: 3 (59)

-The "Wife" character in fiction can be a tricky one- it's the default of most male writers to make them the un-fun "Wet Blanket" character, which often results in them being a bit of a boring character type. The alternative generally turns that aspect to it's most violent, making them a harpy-esque, nasty "Mean Wife" character- most adult cartoons and sitcoms end up going this route at some point, while most children's toons go with the earlier. So The Simpsons is actually pretty rare in that they made an ENTERTAINING Wet Blanket, frequently giving Marge new things to do and new fads to "Mmmmmm" over disapprovingly. With a husband like Homer and a son like Bart, she can't help but come across as the sensible one, but making her go censorship crazy over cartoons & Video Games, a hypocrite at times, and giving her the occasional fad (like the time she became a roid-using Female Bodybuilder) actually makes her a pretty fun type of character when she COULD have been exceptionally dull, like the moms in most comic strips. She's said to be the only character the writers do impressions of when they voice out her lines ("Homie! This this projection ACCURATE?").

-Marge's attractiveness can vary heavily- she's rather Olive Oyl-y in most shots, but she gains a different body type out of her trademark outfit, much like Ned Flanders & Groundskeeper Willie, only gaining killer hips and boobs instead of big muscles- her Playboy photo shoot and the few times she wears a bikini pretty much showcase this. She isn't considered a sexpot by most of the town (except for that time she was accidentally given enormous breast implants), though both Nelson & Milhouse express an attraction to her, as does Moe.

-Of all the characters, she's said to be the saddest to watch these days, as Julie Kavner is well into her 70s and just cannot do the voice adequately anymore. My favorite Julie story is when she was arrested for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart and when she saw both of its workers, she blurted out "Who's watching the Kwik-E-Mart?!" Kavner was repulsed by this line, saying that a woman on trial for robbing the place wouldn't ever say such a thing, but the producers were insistent... so she recorded "Who's watching the Kwik-E-Mart?! And who the f*ck cares!?".

-A rather competent women with many different jobs over the years, Marge is a bit pricey. She's also shown unusual strength at various times (like her ability to lift even HOMER off the ground), as well as more Willpower than the typical Simpson.

Jabroniville wrote: ↑Sun Jun 02, 2024 12:29 am

THE SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN (Jeremy Freedman, aka Mr. Peterson)
First Appearance: "Brush With Greatness" (1991)
Played By: Dan Castellaneta
Role: Service Industry Drone
PL 0 (-1), PL 1 (-1) Defenses
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE -1

I'd bump his Presence up to zero after seeing him act as an effective authority figure to the bully kids in "G.I. D'oh".

PATTY BOUVIER (Patricia Alvarine Bouvier)
First Appearance: "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" (1989)
Played By: Julie Kavner
Role: Hateful Sister-In-Law, Joyless Bore
PL 2 (59)
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 3 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Deception 2 (+4)
Expertise (Department of Motor Vehicles) 3 (+3)
Expertise (World Traveller) 2 (+2)
Perception 1 (+2)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +3 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +3 (DC 13), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications:
Relationship (Each Other)- The sisters' only long-term relationship has been with each other.
Relationship (Marge Simpson- Little Sister)- The twins hate Marge less than they do anyone else.
Obsession (MacGyver)
Enemy (Homer Simpson)- The twins despise Homer more than anyone else alive, and even CELEBRATE when they hear that he's died. Patty hates him more than Selma does.
Prejudice (Lesbian)
Addiction (Smoking)
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: 10 / Skills: 8--4 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (59)

---

SELMA BOUVIER (Selma Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure-Stu-Simpson-D'Amico, nee Bouvier)
First Appearance: "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" (1989)
Played By: Julie Kavner
Role: Hateful Sister-In-Law, Joyless Bore, Worried Spinster
PL 2 (59)
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 3 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Deception 2 (+4)
Expertise (Department of Motor Vehicles) 3 (+3)
Expertise (World Traveller) 2 (+2)
Perception 1 (+2)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +3 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +3 (DC 13), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications:
Relationship (Each Other)- The sisters' only long-term relationship has been with each other.
Relationship (Marge Simpson- Little Sister)- The twins hate Marge less than they do anyone else.
Obsession (MacGyver)
Enemy (Homer Simpson)- The twins despise Homer more than anyone else alive, and even CELEBRATE when they hear that he's died. Patty hates him more than Selma does.
Motivation (Children & Marriage)- Selma is extremely worried that she will die old and alone. "Single, eh? Well, he passes the Selma Test."
Relationship (Ling)- Selma adopted a little girl from China.
Relationship (Jub-Jub)- Selma inherited her late Aunt Gladys' iguana
Addiction (Smoking)
Disabled (No Sense of Taste or Smell)- A bottle-rocket accident ruined Selma's senses.
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: 10 / Skills: 8--4 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (59)

-Patty & Selma sort of take the place of the usual "Mother in Law" character, being a pair of disapproving, ugly, chain-smoking sisters who hate their sister's husband and frequently either wish for a divorce, or celebrate his death. Initially pretty similar, it's later shown that Patty CHOSE celibacy, while Selma had it thrust upon her- their hideousness, chain-smoking and joyless behavior (though Patty is a bit more nasty) pretty much makes them very unlikeable characters. Selma often made various attempts to get a man, and even adopted a little girl from China, while Patty eventually came out as a lesbian. Oddly, Homer's ACTUAL Mother-In-Law is rather nice and unassuming, but isn't seen often, as playing her AND Marge AND the sisters tends to destroy Julie Kavner's voice (which is rather Marge-like, but less raspy).

-Humorously, much was given about their obsession with MacGyver (then a CURRENT show), to the point where they even kidnapped Richard Dean Anderson YEARS later.

APU NAHASAPEEMAPETILON (aka Apu Du Beaumarchais, Slime Q. Slimedog, Steve Barnes)
First Appearance: "The Telltale Head" (1990)
Played By: Hank Azaria
Role: Convenience Store Clerk, Breakout Character
PL 5 (49)
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 3 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Deception 4 (+6)
Expertise (Convenience Store Clerk) 4 (+7)
Expertise (Religion) 3 (+6)
Expertise (Singing & Dancing) 6 (+8)
Technology 3 (+6)

Advantages:
Equipment 2 (Rifle), Ranged Attack 2, Second Chance (Dying of Gunshot Wounds)

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Gun +4 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +1

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +3 (DC 13), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +5

Complications:
Responsibility (The Kwik-E-Mart)- "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?... I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO".
Addiction (Work)- Apu is an intense workaholic.
Relationship (Manjula & the Octuplets)- Apu was unhappily arranged with a girl he'd met once, but they turned out to be a pretty good match. Except for when they had eight babies due to an overdose of fertility drugs, and he cheated on her with the "Squishie Girl". And the fact that she went from a nice, normal wife into a crabby, nitpicky harpy.
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: 28 / Skills: 20--10 / Advantages: 5 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (49)

-Apu was, for more than a DECADE, the most easily-recognizable Indian in the world outside of actual India. Hell, he probably still is, unless you count dead people, and then you could only put Ghandi in front of him (and even THAT's a maybe, if you go worldwide). A play on the fact that (at this point in time for sure) almost every convenience store clerk you're likely to meet is from India or Pakistan (though Koreans are common in the States, and I still see the occasional white one), Apu was just a friendly recurring face in the background with an obvious accent. But after a few episodes, the writers really took a liking to him, and added more and more aspects to the character- he was one of MANY characters who moved in with the Simpson Family, sang part of a catchy song ("Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?"), got a wife, had EIGHT children, cheated on his wife, made it up to her, and more- short of Ned Flanders & Mister Burns, he's the most well-developed and used of the non-Simpson clan in the series!

-And despite the seemingly-stereotypical nature of the character (the Indian Convenience Store Clerk who believes in Hindu Gods and gets an arranged marriage), he was actually VERY popular amongst Indians from what I understood, who got a real kick out of him. The reason being he was still an Indian on TV, and he even had his own character and everything. HOWEVER, this changed with modern times, as a joyless documentary The Problem With Apu came out, with a new generation of young Indians taking issue with the character- the extreme accent (Hank Azaria admits he took it from Peter Sellers imitating an Indian man from a movie- the doc's host says it's therefore "a white guy doing an impression of a white guy making fun of my father". The host Hari Kondabolu admits he liked Apu as a kid, finding ANY representation good, but eventually started taking issue with it- and interviews many Indian actors, all of whom had been called "Apu" as kids or been told as professionals to "do the Apu voice". This was all part of the modern re-focus towards Political Correctness, which had been bashed into submission by the late '90s until the 2000s were practically an orgiastic display of vulgar racial & hom*ophobic humor, functioning out of places like 4chan- the PC movement revved up with the "Woke" movement taking hold over plenty of young people and those attempting to curry favor with them, almost likely as a backlash AGAINST the abject cruelty of the "Anything Goes, lol" comedy of the preceding era, until the PC movement led directly to its OWN backlash which, uh... came to a head in 2016.

-Matt Groening was annoyed, stating " "I think it's a time in our culture where people love to pretend they're offended", while writer Mike Reiss dismissed The Problem With Apu as "a nasty little documentary". Notably, however, there were many interviews with Indians afterwards who said they STILL liked Apu and didn't want to get rid of him. You can find a lot of similar things: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... psons-hero, https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... psons-hero. It's... a complex issue, one most-properly fought over by actual Indians, lol.

-Overall, many Indians grew increasingly tired of white people mocking the accent (the Indian accent is considered particularly funny, especially with the high-pitched nasal tone used by male speakers), and many of the subjects and interviewees in the doc pointed out they'd constantly heard "The Apu Voice" growing up, with people spouting out "THANK YOU- come again" after being served by an Indian clerk. The Simpsons writers were annoyed, naturally, and wrote an episode where Lisa bemoans how something she'd enjoyed in her childhood was now tainted because it had "an unflattering stereotype" and how she was going to deal with this (and at the episode's end, the camera zooms in on a picture Apu sent of himself to Lisa). Eventually, the character was just written out.

-Despite all the back and forth, though, I actually liked the character- while he obviously had the extreme accent, he was always depicted as hard-working, forthright, funny, a ladies' man, a man of vices, and an equal friend to the Simpsons and other characters. For stats, he's somewhat basic, but has a great resistance to dying of gunshot wounds (he has many badges of honor on his body) and a rifle of his own.

MANJULA NAHASAPEEMAPETILON
First Appearance: "Much Apu About Nothing" (1990)
Played By: Jan Hooks
Role: Apu's Wife
PL 0 (18), PL 1 Defenses
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Deception 4 (+6)
Expertise (Religion) 5 (+6)
Expertise (Singing & Dancing) 3 (+5)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +1

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +2

Complications:
Relationship (Apu & the Octuplets)- Apu was unhappily arranged with a girl he'd met once, but they turned out to be a pretty good match. Except for when they had eight babies due to an overdose of fertility drugs, and he cheated on her with the "Squishie Girl". And the fact that she went from a nice, normal wife into a crabby, nitpicky harpy.

Total: Abilities: 12 / Skills: 12--6 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 0 (18)

-Manjula was the means by which Apu became an even MORE prominent character on The Simpsons- she had been betrothed to Apu when they were three years old, but they didn't meet again until the wedding was to go through. Apu, dreading it, tried to get out of things, but found he & Manjula were pretty well-matched, and they got along. Mostly. They were a bit estranged when Apu was seen cheating on her, but his dramatic apologies ended up being so romantic that all the other men in Springfield were angered by how it was making them look bad. Then everyone who knew Manjula was slipping her fertility drugs, resulting in her giving birth to octuplets, exhausting the both of them. Manjula sort of became part of Marge's circle- voiced by Jan Hooks, who had no other jobs, she typically had a bigger role in an episode if she was gonna show up, but series regular Tress MacNeille soon took over the job (Hooks died in 2014, twelve years after being replaced). Her personality is fairly nitpicky and critical, when Apu talks about "a wonderful dream where I died", she informed him he's not allowed to die until their children all pass college.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work."

KENT BROCKMAN (Kenny Brockelstein)
First Appearance: "The Telltale Head" (1990)
Played By: Harry Shearer
Role: Background Character, Newsman
PL 0 (20)
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Deception 4 (+6)
Expertise (News Reporter) 3 (+5)
Investigation 2 (+3)
Perception 1 (+2)

Advantages:
Benefit 2 (Stonecutters/No Homers Club, Member of the Media)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications:
Motivation (Wealth, Ratings & Respect)- Kent is always there to sensationalize the news stories of the day, wanting to get as much attention as possible.
Rivalry (Arnie Pie)- Arnie & Kent frequently argue on-air, while Arnie does his "Arnie in the Sky" reporting via helicopter.
Responsibility (Potty-Mouth)- Kent often gets in trouble for swearing on the air, as his awful temper gets him into trouble.
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: 12 / Skills: 10--5 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 1 (20)

-Kent Brockman respresents kind of a necessity in shows like this- the news reporter who gives handy exposition to the situations at hand. But the show also goes all-out with him, to use him as kind of a figurehead of the modern news juggernaut, satirizing the profession and how sensationalistic it's gotten. Kent is opinionated, vicious, and sensationalistic, always there to exaggerate something to get more ratings. Not the most well-rounded of characters, he nonetheless gets a lot of great lines, as his biases and penchant for swearing keep things pretty dynamic. My favourite Kent-based thing (aside from the "I, for one, WELCOME our ant overlords" bit) is probably the video introduction to his Eye on Springfield segment, an absolute tour de force of goofy 1980s video & editing tropes, complete with girls in swimsuits for no apparent reason, shots of bloopers, and smarminess in general.

SNAKE (Chester Turley, aka Jailbird)
First Appearance: "The War of The Simpsons" (1991)
Played By: Hank Azaria
Role: Background Character, Bad Boy
PL 5 (55)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 3
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 5
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Athletics 3 (+5)
Deception 4 (+6)
Expertise (Criminal) 7 (+7)
Expertise (Archaeology) 4 (+4)
Intimidation 4 (+6)

Advantages:
Equipment 2 (Gun, Knife), Fast Grab, Startle

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Knife +6 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Gun +5 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +3

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +5, Will +1

Complications:
Reputation (Criminal)- Snake constantly commits crimes, no matter how much time he's spent in prison.
Relationship (Jeremy- Son)
Rivalry (Shelbyville)- Shelbyville & Springfield are arch-rivals, with counterparts to many Springfieldianites in this town of dishonest people.

Total: Abilities: 42 / Skills: 12--6 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (55)

-Snake (originally just called "Jailbird") is a Background Character with a male version of a Valley Girl accent, generally seen stealing something, robbing the Kwik-E-Mart, or lazing about in jail. Probably the most I saw of him was in the episode where Mr. Burns fell in love with Snake's ex-girlfriend, only to have her fall back in love with his bad-boy charm.

JOHNNY CARSON
First Appearance: "Krusty Gets Kancelled" (1993)
Played By: Himself
Role: The Ultimate Talk Show Host
PL 6 (90)
STRENGTH 5 STAMINA 5 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 7 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 5

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+9)
Deception 2 (+7)
Expertise (TV Show Host) 10 (+15)
Expertise (Astronomy) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Tennis) 2 (+6)
Expertise (Music) 2 (+7)
Expertise (Magic) 4 (+6)
Insight 2 (+5)
Perception 2 (+5)
Sleight of Hand 6 (+6)
Vehicles 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Benefit 2 (Most Beloved Man In Late Night)

Powers:
Power-Lifting 2 (3 tons) [2]

Offense:
Unarmed +7 (+5 Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +5

Defenses:
Dodge +5 (DC 15), Parry +7 (DC 17), Toughness +5, Fortitude +5, Will +6

Complications:
Relationship (Various Women)- Carson was considered American's "naughty little boy", making flirtacious remarks and snuggling up to attractive female guests. He was like this in reality, too- he had a long string of ex-wives, each of whom figured they'd be "enough"- most of them weren't.
Responsibility (Shy)- Despite his very public career, Carson was a very shy, private person, and often had difficulty getting out of his shell.

Total: Abilities: 62 / Skills: 40--20 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 2 / Defenses: 4 (90)

-Johnny Carson made a surprise appearance on the celebrity-filled Simpsons episode where "Krusty Gets Kancelled"- with the new puppet TV host Gabbo drawing all his ratings (plus Itchy & Scratchy), Krusty was ready to hang it up, causing the Simpson family to bring a bunch of his favorite celebrity guests to give him a big send-off. Among them was Carson, who had just left The Tonight Show after decades on the air. American's favorite TV host with a MASSIVE career (Late Night is mostly divided into "Pre-Carson, Carson and Post-Carson" periods), Carson was famously jovial, quick-witted and dead-on with his delivery, but the real man himself was deeply shy (his penchant for learning magic was to help him break out of his shell) and he rarely ever gave interviews or showed up in public after leaving the air (some of the few times he did so was for this episode and for David Letterman, whom he viewed as the proper successor to Carson's show- he was aggrieved when NBC gave it to Jay Leno instead). The show went all-out in playing up Carson, where they just give him superhuman strength, having him lift cars over his head and playing musical instruments while engaging in feats of strength. That both The Simpsons and Carson shared a showrunner (Al Jean) probably helped to move all this along.

-While I'm way too young to remember Carson's run, I've watched biographies and have read a lot about the man- intensely private yet a brilliant public figure, he was the absolute master of dealing with jokes that bombed. His reactions to groaners or audiences not responding to a dud were often funnier than the actual decent jokes ("Boy that got nothing"), bringing people in on the jokes bombing. His timing was also IMPECCABLE- there's a great clip where an ax thrower is demonstrating his accuracy on a silhouette of a man, and one of the axes goes low, slamming right into the crotch of the figure. The audience bursts into laughter and the man looks sheepish while Johnny stands there... stands there... stands there, almost about to say something, but is waiting for the laughter to die down to give it maximum impact. Then he lets fly "I didn't even know you were Jewish".

STAN LEE (Stanley Martin Lieber)
First Appearance: "I Am Furious Yellow" (2002)
Played By: Himself
Role: Insane Celebrity, Shameless Self-Promoter
PL 0 (25), PL 2 (25) Defenses
STRENGTH -1 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 5

Skills:
Athletics 2 (+1)
Deception 1 (+6)
Expertise (Writer) 9 (+10)
Expertise (Acting) 1 (+6)
Persuasion 3 (+8)

Advantages:
Fascinate (Persuasion)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +4

Complications:
Disabled (Insane)- Stan's mind is no longer in mint condition.
Motivation (Himself)- Stan likes to promote himself- if anyone tells him he's the best, he'll say "I agree!"

Total: Abilities: 14 / Skills: 16--8 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (25)

-Stan The Man is the most famous comic book creator probably in the world, and a huge portion of Marvel's past success- as a shameless self-promoter, his natural charisma has earned him some classic funny cameos in the various Marvel films, and the lines to meet him at Comic Cons are HUGE. Stan appeared in one Simpsons episode as a random visitor to Springfield, but then never left- annoying Comic Book Guy by ruining DC merchandise ("Broke it? Or MADE IT BETTER?") and generally being insane.

-Stan himself is a bit controversial in comic book history, as he promoted himself as a big-time Marvel creator when other guys did a TON of the work, especially as they were later ignored by Marvel, but many over-do it and act like Stan did NOTHING and that he just road Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko's coattails. This is vastly incorrect- anyone who's read the solo work of either man knows just how important Stan was to writing that classic Marvel dialogue from the 1960s, and both had bad habits (Ditko was a loon who made a bunch of crazy, super-Randian Objectivist heroes that Alan Moore would later satirize with Rorschach, for example) just as bad as any of Stan's. And Marvel historians will note that Stan was a HUGE part of Marvel's promotion in those days- the letter columns and advertising campaigns written in his voice were a big part in getting young fans into the hobby, and obsessed with the Marvel Universe as a whole. Marvel's stuff in the 1960s is so much better than DC's it's not even funny, and Stan's a big part of it. I would say that the Lee/Kirby works is at least 40% Stan, while the weirder stuff with Ditko WAS mostly Steve's insanity- there's also a notable lack of big-time Spidey villains post-Ditko (though Romita was still pretty good). HOWEVER, Spider-Man's book was still just as good, if not BETTER, after Ditko left, so Stan & John were still a great team.

-Discounting Stans' achievements just because he grabbed more credit than he perhaps deserved (and let's be sure- neither Steve nor Jack were any better about this; Stan was just better AT IT), and Marvel itself basically went out of it's way to treat Kirby poorly (Stan was a cog in the machine, but ALWAYS had a corporate boss who called the shots, and Stan himself was no boat-rocker- especially since his brother-in-law owned the company for decades) is a mistake. Even Kirby's own personal friend & historian admits that Stan was a HUGE part of Marvel's 1960s success, and Jack & Steve had little success without him- Kirby's New Gods and Ditko's insane stuff all sold poorly and were cancelled early, and all were considered washed-up after a point. Kirby got all the other pros pissed (off at Marvel & DC's notorious editorial issues and poor treatment of creators) behind him and ended up getting brought up as a martyr, and it's not quite fair to put all that on Stan's shoulders. Hell, Stan even ADMITTED to their creative process at the time (Stan & the artists would brainstorm for a bit, then the artist would go off and basically do everything in the comic by himself, THEN Stan would add dialogue and other words), so it's not like he was straight-up lying.

-Course, none of that has to do with the Stan Lee in The Simpsons, but I like ranting about the stuff that went on at Marvel back in the day. Stan himself is a bit tough to stat, being an old man who is nonetheless WILDLY charismatic (even his detractors admit he was a master salesman and could attract attention like nobody's business back in the 1960s) and persuasive- he was so good at playing to both sides that he would get letters from liberals AND conservatives thanking him for "taking our side" in various political matters (the idea of an old hippy like Stan being pro-Republican is hilarious to me- Stan REALLY hated Nixon). Determining his Writing Skill is tough, as his work was great at the time, and still fun to read, but kind of... fell apart after a certain point. His character still kind of talk like they're old-school goofy types, and it doesn't really hold up. Not that Jack Kirby's style ever evolved EITHER.